“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got!”
This guide has been written by friends first both to help you meet someone special and to enjoy more authentic relationships with those close to you. Some of it you may have heard before, some you may feel doesn’t apply to you. If nothing else we hope it will make you think about your life, how you live it and what you can do to make it more fulfilling.
• ENJOY LIFE
If you strive to enjoy life, when you meet someone new, they will meet a genuinely happy person who is a real pleasure to be with. Women love to be around happy people. So make a conscious effort to stop thinking about what your life should be and looking for happiness elsewhere – your happiness isn’t reliant on someone else. Become happy inside and it’ll shine out of you. To do this appreciate the here and now. Make the most of every day and every moment. Don’t take things for granted; rather count your blessings. It’s your choice – happiness is free and we can all find something to feel good about if we look hard enough. Do something every day, however small, to make it a good one and, even better still, do something for someone else to make their day a good one. The world is like a mirror – smile and it will smile back at you.
• BE POSITIVE
Develop a positive attitude and look forward. Focus on solutions, not problems and cast out any negative thoughts. However hard it may be don’t let hurts of the past affect new relationships. To move forward we have to forgive and let things go. Lean on God for the strength to do this and ask for His help. Don’t share any negative feelings you have with any woman or man you meet at first. This will quite definitely put them off. Learn to expect positive outcomes, but don’t be discouraged if things don’t quite work out the way you would have liked. Worrying is a wasted emotion and when you stop worrying, you will have an inner strength – Keep Calm and Carry On! Don’t criticize, blame or judge people but instead look for the good in them. Become known as a man or woman who only has kind words, appreciation and encouragement for others. Most people are particularly attracted to kind and caring personality.
• ACCEPT YOURSELF
There’s no easier way to become more attractive than being a better friend to yourself as well as others. God made each and every one of us as a unique and special person. None of us is perfect – he loves us despite our faults, our foibles and our failings. Don’t criticize yourself, beat yourself up for not living up to your own expectations or compare yourself with anyone else. Learn to like yourself in a genuine way, warts and all. If you’re positive about yourself you will have a natural, quiet self confidence which will appeal to others and they will respond more positively to you. Think about how you can be a better friend to those you care about and strive to treat everyone you meet as a true friend. Women like men who have friends – it makes them feel more assured that you are trustworthy.
• MAKE THE BEST OF YOURSELF
You know the qualities you are looking for in a partner – but what qualities do you think the other gender might be looking for in you? Write them down and think of how you can work on those qualities to make sure you are the best you can be. Sometimes we live life at such a fast pace and fill our time so that our days are hectic – has this made us impatient, dismissive, short tempered, constantly late, disorganized and disheveled? Or we may have too much time on our hands but have become bored, a bit lazy, pessimistic and downcast? Set yourself some attainable goals and take small steps every day to achieve them. Then take a look at your appearance and think of how you can make the best of what you’ve got! Highlight your good points – maybe ask a good friend, a hairdresser or a personal shopper for their advice. Both inside and out do your utmost to be an even more appealing man to yourself and to others. Think more about being a good partner yourself and you’ll always be loveable.
• NURTURE RELATIONSHIPS
When you meet people let them know you’re really pleased to see them and make a conscious effort to make them feel at ease. Take the initiative to make the first move with women. They expect it and done in the right way will welcome your contact. Encourage them to talk more about themselves and really listen. When it’s your turn to share something about yourself take less time than they did. Don’t try to impress or pretend to be someone you’re not – be yourself. Accept that not everything will be perfect and you may encounter differences. Be open and honest about problems without blaming others for your own feelings or making mountains out of molehills. Forgive people for what you see as their shortcomings – could it be that you are at fault for being so critical or judgmental of them. Think more about being a good friend yourself. Setout to share new experiences and create good memories to build your relationship on. Make plans together and look forward to the future together.
• BE PROACTIVE
You can change or improve anything about yourself if you want to do so strongly enough. Be more proactive about going out to meet more people.
• AND FINALLY….
How much time are you wasting standing in the waiting room of your own life? Take on board the things you’ve read here step by step and work on every aspect of your life by making some changes, however small. Make sure the very next time you meet a woman embrace the changes you’ve made and you’ll be amazed at the results.